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The Magazine of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America

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A Jesus tattoo?

Ash Wednesday humor

While waiting to come forward to receive the imposition of ashes on Ash Wednesday, one child said to her parents, "I want a Jesus tattoo on my forehead."

Greg Myrmoe
Beresford, S.D.

After receiving ashes on his forehead on Ash Wednesday, my 6-year-old son asked me what they were. Before I could answer, my 8-year-old daughter told him that some people are buried after they die and some people are burned and that makes ashes. My son exclaimed, "Then who is on my forehead?"

Carrie Ann Hill
Arlington Heights, Ill.

"I realize they're really comfy, but you can't wear a Snuggie instead of a robe."

In the van after school one day I was trying to explain to my son, Spencer, and daughters, Casey and Jamie, why we have Ash Wednesday and how the pastor puts ashes on people's foreheads. Jamie began wondering what she should give up for Lent when Spencer announced, "I think I'll give up Ash Wednesday." No way was the pastor going to dump ashes on him.

Andrea Roths
Greeneville, Tenn.

Offering up coupons A friend of mine was surprised when our church treasurer returned the offering envelope she had put in the plate that morning. He smiled and asked her to open it. She did and blushed. Opening her purse, she handed him another offering envelope — one that didn't contain her grocery coupons.

Dianne Rathje
Amana, Iowa

Super answers It was a Super Bowl Sunday and the pews were filled at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church, Covina, Calif. Thom Johnson, pastor, asked the children: "Do you know what day this is?" Max broke the silence with his excitement, "Donut Day!"

Sheryl Woodbury
Covina, Calif.

"Times are tough! I lost my acolyte job."

One of our Sunday school teachers was telling the preschoolers the creation story. After describing how God created all the different kinds of animals, she asked, "Do you know what God created next?" Mackenzie raised her hand and shouted out, "Zookeepers!"

Paul Braden
Bethlehem, Pa.

When the minister asked if anyone had a birthday, two children raised their hands. The minister asked the little girl when her birthday was and she replied, "Tomorrow." He then said, "Trevor, I know how old you're going to be. When will you be 4?" Trevor replied matter-of-factly, "On my birthday."

Linda Shaffer
Richfield, Pa.


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