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The Magazine of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America

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It's blooper time

While reviewing the minutes of a board meeting at Pilgrim Lutheran Church, Carmel, Ind., I noticed our secretary reported that the "sire development costs" could run as high as $1.5 million. Since it was the building committee that was making the comment, I was pretty sure she meant "site development costs" and that our church isn't becoming involved in horse breeding.

Doug Lippert
Carmel, Ind.

"You should rework your sermon to keep up with cultural change ... it seemed a bit, 'last week.' "
The volunteer band at Our Savior Lutheran Church, Phoenix, is called the "Heavenly Honkers." This notice from the church council minutes received a few chuckles: "[We're] looking for a new guitar player and also someone who plays an instrument for the Heavenly Hookers." We didn't have any takers.

Sara Ericksen
Phoenix, Ariz.

The bulletin at Trinity Lutheran Church, Chicago, listed the communion hymn "God Will Take Care of You." Underneath in italic was: If time permits.


Warren Kostelny
Mount Prospect, Ill.

At St. Luke Lutheran Church, Marietta, Ohio, the secretary announced that the evangelism committee would be marching in the Memorial Day parade. The parade would end at the cemetery, and she said, "We could really use some more bodies."

Mark Neyman
Marietta, Ohio

"Put grammatical errors in your sermons and you'll find out who is listening."
July 4th ovation

On Sunday before a July 4th holiday, my friend sang a medley of patriotic songs for worship. As she sang the last song everyone stood up. After worship I congratulated her, saying, "You finally got a standing ovation!" The last song was "The Star Spangled Banner."

Irene Lynn
Smithfield, Pa.

Hooray for humility

During our Pentecost service, children, ages 3 to 10, sang a song about the seven gifts of the Spirit, then each announced his or her gift and decorated the altar with a ribbon. Noah, 3, had been running around the altar, occasionally shouting a word from the song. But now he paused to say his gift: "Humility!"


Carolyn Wemple
Royal Oak, Mich.


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November issue

NOVEMBER issue:

The ELCA's aging clergy wave

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