For some of you it was just last Sunday, for others it was years ago. Pastors, please share with us your funniest — yes, likely embarrassing-ministry stories. Send your 100-word stories to Julie Sevig.
As I was being prepped for surgery the nurse asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you?” “Yes,” I replied, “if the hospital chaplain is here, I’d like a prayer before I go up for surgery. It’s just 6:45 a.m. and I don’t think my pastor is going to make it.” After she left to go call the chaplain, my pastor arrived. Then the hospital chaplain arrived. I explained that my pastor had arrived and thanked him for coming. Without blinking an eye, he joked, “Well, I believe you are well ‘pastorized’ this morning!”
Prairie du Sac, Wis.
I was raised on a dairy farm so when our pastor announced he was going to retire, it only seemed natural to ask, “Does the pastor then become unpastorized?
|“This man is here to discuss a sin he’s committed, pastor ... obviously a whopper.”|
Jim WallochWine ’n’ dime them?Last March when cleaning up after communion, our church council president at Elim Lutheran, Marshalltown, Iowa, showed me a used communion cup with a dime in the bottom of it. We had no idea how it had gotten there. Later I met my out-of-town friends, Joyce and Mary Jane, who had just worshiped with us, for dinner. Joyce asked, “What does it mean when you get a dime in your communion cup?” Choking hazard aside, we may have found a new evangelism strategy for encouraging visitors to come back: “wine and dime” them.
Karen Cluts Let me rephrase thatA parishioner offered for free a hospital bed and large commode. When I announced it at worship, I said, “The commode will handle up to 400 pounds.” I suddenly realized I meant “will handle a person up to 400 pounds” and corrected myself. With that rollicking start, the entrance hymn never sounded better.
Robert StoskopfCoincidental order?
At Our Saviour Lutheran Church, Phoenix, this was the order: “Hungry” was the solo before the words of institution. “Feed Us Now” was the congregational song that followed. Pure coincidence that we ran out of doughnuts at coffee time?
|“In no particular order, here is my list of what you are giving up for Lent.”|
From the bulletin of First Lutheran Church, Hayward, Wis., indicating offering music:
“O, Master Let Me Walk With Thee” (8:15)
“Five Hundred Miles” (10:00)
Colleen W. Moreland