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The Magazine of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America

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Back to school

Return to classes can be humorous

As a teacher of religion at Carthage College, Kenosha, Wis., term papers enlighten me. One student confided, “As I grew up, I learned that Jesus suffered and died for us so we can have the chance to live a sinful life.” But more entertaining are the results of spell-check corrections. For instance, I learned that Jesus went to Gerasene to heal the democrats (demoniacs?) and that Jesus’ body was taken from the cross by Joseph of Aromatherapy.

Ross Henry Larson
Kenosha, Wis.

You're not in trouble, Jeffrey. I
“You’re not in trouble, Jeffrey. I pulled you out of your Sunday school class because my computer won’t print this morning’s sermon and you’re the only one in church who can fix it.”
On a September Sunday, cross-shaped carabiners (a metal loop with a sprung or screwed gate) were placed on school backpacks. The pastor then gave a blessing: “God will follow you wherever you go.” Porter, our then 3-year-old grandson, replied, “I don’t want anyone following me!”

Karen Mattson
Duluth, Minn.

Five-year-old Jarrod was listening to the story of David and Goliath in Sunday school. When I said, “David looked up at the giant, Goliath,and then reached down to pick up somesmall ....” Jarrod quickly filled in the blank, “Magic beans!”

Shirley Moller
Edgemont, Ark.

Our granddaughter, Anna, 4, whose older siblings were memorizing Bible verses in Sunday school, shared this with me: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have a turtle life.”

Don and Jean Sneen
Sioux Falls, S.D.

Martini prayers?

From the prayer of the day in the bulletin of Augustana (Tustin, Mich.) & Zion-Emanuel (LeRoy) Lutheran Parish: “Lord God, you call us to work in your vineyard and leave no one standing idle. Set us to our tasks in the work of your kingdom, and help us to order our olives by your wisdom ....”

Shelby Plyler
Tustin, Mich.

At the 2006 Virginia Synod assembly, events caused laughter and tears. We left knowing the Spirit had been with us through it all ... including this prayer: “Blessed are you, O Lord our God, maker of all things. Through your goodness you have blessed us with these gifts. With them we offer ourselves to your service, and dedicateour livers to the care of all that you have made ....”

Celi Stoutamire
Salem, Va.


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