The Magazine of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America


And the answer is...

In a children’s sermon focusing on the call of Jesus’ first disciples, I asked: “If you were fishing for people, what kind of bait would you use?” I believe young Cole was onto something when he suggested, “Chocolate!”

Elizabeth Jaeger
Sheboygan Falls, Wis.

Any chance you could say an extra
“Any chance you could say an extra prayer for the speedy recovery of a particularly difficult patient?”
I was getting accurate answers as I asked third-, fourth- and fifth-graders about the Old Testament stories we’d studied: “Samson was ...?” “A judge!” “David was ...?” “A king!” Then a quick-witted fifth-grader offered this answer: “Jeremiahwas ...?” “A bullfrog!”

Joel Rova-Hegener
Silverdale, Wash.

My adult Sunday school class was bemoaning the frequency with which people file lawsuits for frivolous reasons. I mentioned that the church has to carry malpractice insurance for me, the pastor. “What in the world for?” one group member asked. Another was quick to respond: “In case one of us ends up in hell?”

Anke Deibler
Williamsport, Pa.

I couldn’t help but smile when I discovered my pastor husband had chosen Jesus, Refuge of the Weary as the opening hymn the morning after we’d lost an hour of sleep because of daylight-saving time.

Susan Ruth
Livingston, Calif.

Ah ... retirement!

During introductions at a clergy gathering in mid-February, a pastor announced he had been retired since the beginning of the year and was enjoying every minute of it. “Yes,” chimed in his friend. “Forty Days of No Purpose!”

Rick Mueller
Florissant, Mo.

... and vacations

The sign in front of Faith Lutheran Church, Toledo, Ohio, is two-sided. One side displays the message: “Now is a great time to visit.” The other side says: “Our pastor is on vacation.”

Robert A. Haaf
Toledo, Ohio

The church was adjacent to a golf driving range, and I was the pulpit supply. During the 45 minutes between services I scanned the grounds for golf balls. The children’s time at the second service included my props for the story of Jesus’ search for sheep: five “found” golf balls.

Justin Silvius
Kenosha, Wis.

When visiting Hope Lutheran Church, Satsuma, Fla., four little girls sat listening to the pastor talk about “talents.” He asked, “Does anyone have any talents they wish to share?” One girl held up her hand and said, “Yes, I have itchies.” With the crowd amused, the pastor continued, “What caused the itchies?” “Chiggers,” she responded. He could have stopped there but pressed on, “Well, where did they bite you?” She looked at him as if he should have known the answer and said, “In the grass.”

James Kovach
Miami Springs, Fla.


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February issue


Embracing diversity