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The Magazine of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America

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Food for thought

During the children’s sermon at Yeager Memorial Lutheran Church, Rainsburg, Pa., our lay minister asked the kids what makes them sad and happy. She asked how a box of tissues might help in sad times. Then she showed them a phone and asked, “How can this help when you’re sad?” Eager responses included: “Call a friend”; “Call your grandma”; “Call the doctor.” But the show-stopper was: “Call for a pizza!”

Joyce Sammel
Rainsburg, Pa.
I hate to tell you, Pastor, but restacking
“I hate to tell you, Pastor, but restacking chairs after fellowship dinners is in your contract.”


Ethan’s mother overheard his conversation with their 4-year-old neighbor. Cami said to Ethan, then 3, “At our church we have pizza.” Play continued quietly, and then Ethan replied, “At our church we have blood of Christ.”

Louise Lund
Moorhead, Minn.

After his first communion, my grandson, James, was asked by a parishioner what he had at the altar. He thought a minute and then said, “Lunch.”

Elsie E. Brumagim
Newburg, Pa.

During the kids’ time at Capron [Ill.] Lutheran Church, Donna tried to teach them you can’t always get what you want. She held up a bag of M&Ms, but said it wasn’t for them because she needed the candy later in the day. “I know you would just love to have these because what would be better than some delicious M&Ms?” Josh, 5, piped up: “A peanut butter and jelly sandwich!”

Guenter Wohlfarth
Capron, Ill.

Too new to be old

They're discussing the story of Mary
“They’re discussing the story of Mary and Martha.”
Dale’s mother asked: “Do you know who Jesus is?” The 4-year-old said, “Sure, the baby Jesus in the crib.” “Yes,” she said. “But he grew tobecome a boy and then a man.” He replied, “Oh no, Mama. I don’t think so. He was just born at Christmas.”

Ethelyn Berns
Monona, Iowa

Laundry lines

During the evangelism committee meeting at Good Shepherd Lutheran, Irving, Texas, someone suggested reporting the church’s fundraising efforts for Katrina disaster relief in the local paper’s “Religion Briefs” section. Our pastor inquired, “Is that where churches air their dirty laundry?”

Jorja Williams
Irving, Texas

When it was announced at church that the purchase of the adjacent laundromat had been completed, my husband leaned over and whispered, “Now cleanliness is next to godliness.”

Carol Savolaine
Westerville, Ohio

Say what?

One Sunday I received the message loud and clear that I need hearing aids. I thought I heard the pastor say: “We have some deaths this week.” During the pause that followed I began to ponder who might have died when he continued: “Could they please stand up and identify themselves?”

Dale Goodman
Strawberry Point, Iowa


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December issue

DECEMBER issue:

Advent: Waiting together

More...