The Magazine of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America


Saints at play

Pastor, here's the congregation's
“Pastor, here’s the congregation’s gift to help you through your first few weeks of ministry. Bring it in, guys.”
This line that appeared in our newspaper could launch 1,000 sermons. Instead of the usual “Obituaries” over the death notices was the line: “Playing today.”

Terry L. Daly
Warren, Mich.

A student’s sermon note following last year’s All Saints’ service at First Lutheran Church, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, caught my attention. The question was: “What did you find to be good news in the sermon?” The student replied: “The commuting of the saints.” Apparently even heaven has traffic problems.

Brian Middleswarth
Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Announcement in last year’s All Saints’ Sunday bulletin at Central Lutheran Church, Minneapolis: “Beginning this weekend and continuing Nov. 14 and 21, we will speak the names of those who have died in the prayers during worship.”

Roger Knudson
St. Paul, Minn.

Around Halloween, a mother saw her son with all his stuffed toys lined up. He was saying something to each one and giving them something. She thought he was playing “trick or treat” but realized as she got closer that he was saying, “This is my body, broken for you.” Guess who wants to be a pastor?

Nancy Graves
Albuquerque, N.M.

Not everyone might list this ...

When our pastor gathered the little ones around him at Thanksgiving and asked what they’re thankful for, the usual answers came: my dog, parents, candy, TV. Then one child replied: “Gravity.”

Barbara and Loren Johnson
Missoula, Mont.

This is Pastor. I just called to thank
“This is Pastor. I just called to thank you for the parting of the sea bookends.”
Odd leaders

Vacation Bible school had just finished, and the pastor took a moment during Sunday worship to recognize the program’s success. Reporting the attendance, he went on to say: “We also had 20 odd leaders and volunteers working.” As one of those leaders, yes, I suppose we were a little odd!

Kelly Hayner
Waltham, Mass.

During Bible school, Psalm 135:5 was displayed on the wall of the sanctuary: “For I know the greatness of the Lord.” The pastor asked: “Do we know the Lord?” The children answered, “Yes!” Then a young fellow added: “And we have his phone number—1355.”

Bette Lou Yenne
Hood River, Ore.

I was a storyteller at our Bible school. I’m 75, have white hair and, of course, a few wrinkles. I introduced the parable of the Good Samaritan by saying it was an old story that had been told to me as a child a long time ago. A boy, with all the innocence of a 5-year-old, looked into my eyes and said, “I think we could say that was a long, long, long time ago.”

Roberta Turner
Wabasha, Minn.


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