The Magazine of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America


What I wish my congregation understood about my divorce

Readers of The Lutheran share their experiences

I wish they understood how much I needed them, how hurt, troubled, lonely and spiritually vulnerable I was and how their silence built a wall that separates us. I wish they understood how sorry I am that I didn't realize they needed to see my bruises to believe there were abuse issues. Most of all, I wish they understood how much they could have helped, how desperately I longed for someone to pray with, someone to touch, to talk with, to hear my pain. Not acknowledging my presence and tears as I sat by them in the pew pierced my soul so that it is now safer to worship at home in front of the TV. I still need to hear from them.

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