The Magazine of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America


Joke month

Readers respond to The Lutheran's call for humor

My son Isaiah, 8, came up with this joke one night while reading the Bible (in the midst of begging for a Wii for his birthday): What character from the Bible loved to play video games? Answer: Zaccheus — he was a Wii little man.

Lissa Kahl
Waverly, Iowa


Who was Noah's wife? Joan of Ark, of course.

Jonette Knock
Pella, Iowa


"A theme for our Bible study meeting on Thursday? Hmm ... how about 'Psalm Enchanted Evening'?"

What did Jesus say in the disco? I have risen, but I can't get down.

Katrina Foster
Water Mill, N.Y.


What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin Catholic.

Katie Livingood
Dodge Center, Minn.

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Lutheran? Someone who goes knocking on doors, praying that no one is home. Alternate ending: Someone who knocks on doors but when someone answers doesn't know what to say.

Sonia Hayden
Park Ridge, Ill.

During my children's sermon on Good Shepherd Sunday I showed a picture of Jesus shepherding a flock of sheep. When I asked why Jesus was carrying one sheep on his shoulders, a child replied, "Maybe because that sheep was b-a-a-a-a-d."

Phil Carl
Reston, Va.

"Math has never been one of the pastor's strong points."

And two stories ...

I remember the time my dad gave a children's sermon using an item in a paper bag as a prop. When he asked the kids what they thought was in the bag, one boy replied: "I suppose you got some beer in there."

Liz Lien Eliason
Spicer, Minn.

When my brother (who is now 50) was 4, my dad always gave him a nickel to put in the Sunday school collection plate, and he always brought the nickel home. My dad asked, "Matt, why didn't you give your money to Jesus?" Matt replied, "He wasn't there."

Lyn Jerde
Madison, Wis.


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February issue


Embracing diversity