When my wife went on a cruise, my 6-year-old grandchild wanted to know who would take care of me while she was gone. I told her that God would. "OK," she said. "He's good."
Masonic Home, Ky.
When attending church with me, my daughter gave my granddaughters money for the offering plate: the 5-year-old a dollar bill and the 3-year-old change. When the plate came the younger one carefully put her change in it after watching her older sister. But then she looked at me and said, "I want to have a rectangle soft money with a picture of a man on it." I found a dollar bill and told her to run up the aisle with it. She returned with a satisfied smile.
'I've got ... like a river'
Every Tuesday and Friday at children's chapel for preschoolers at St. Peter's by the Sea Lutheran Church in Ocean Beach, Calif., we sing four songs before moving on to the Bible story. When I asked, "What song do you want to sing today?" one eager child raised his hand and said, "I've got to pee like a river." I was surprised, but thought I knew what he meant: "You mean, 'I've Got Peace Like a River'?" He responded, "Yes!"
Ocean Beach, Calif.
About six people got on the fifth-floor elevator, going down. The person nearest the control panel politely asked, "Are we all going to 'L'? A response came from the rear of the car: "If'n we don't mend our ways."
|"You may salute the bride."|
From the bulletin of Abiding Grace Lutheran Church, Southlake, Texas: "PALMS—If you have pals at home that you would like to be turned into ashes for Ash Wednesday please bring them in and place them in the basket on the welcome table."
From First United Lutheran Church, Dallas: "You may leave quietly or be seated for private medication during the postlude."
From the congregational meeting minutes of Zion Lutheran Church, Glendive, Mont.: "The Sunday school windows would be removed and insulted."
© 2014 Augsburg Fortress, Publishers